because a person who belly laughs doesn’t bellyache

Thought Chea, our resident fam photographer, could use this site. It’s, er, helpful, in a Cake Wrecks sort of way. A real time sink of hilarity. Pages and pages of unbelievable photos. I’ve got a few I’d like to submit.

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

There’s this site as well. This Bishop has some posts that are pretty funny, some a little less so. No, no I’m not referring to ld;)
Go see for yourself.

http://bishophiggins.blogspot.com/

And then finally a creative problem solving site. Hilarious because it hits a little too close to home.

http://thereifixedit.com/

Some of my favs like this one:

http://thereifixedit.com/2009/07/10/epic-kludge-photo-rake-em-over-the-fire/

and this one,

grandbaby love

Look at this mr. collins wave.

ld, you're a good grandpa

groovy neurals

All the psycho chatter I have been reading lately uses all the usual buzz words: comfort zones, ego patterns of response, etc. My new personal favorite (to say exactly the same thing) is neural grooving. Call it what you will, but our predictable and ho hum risk free life is exactly the reason ld and I went white water rafting with some friends the end of June. It was time to ward me off some Alzheimer’s and lay down some new neural grooves, for sure.

It really was a memorable and great trip (see ld’s blog for a more detailed summary) and it did all the things I hoped it would when I somewhat trepidly signed us up: inspired confidence in me, helped repair my numbness to everyday life, sharpened my awareness and aesthetic senses, and provided yet another bonding experience with ld and some people I love.

As luck would have it all this stuff about forging new neural grooves continues to pop up everywhere: I am supposed to stretch, to grow. It’s all: Try this, go here, change sides, move outside your comfort zone, make some new contacts, let go of your usual role, walk instead of drive, make a friend from another side of town, go to the border, etc. We’re supposed to live ourselves into new ways of thinking.

Which is why I am shaking things up around here by:

1) brushing my teeth with my opposite hand
2) sleeping with my head where my feet should be (really, ask ld) and…
3) in general trying to have one new experience a week (so ld, will ‘ya take me to the County Fair this afternoon, hmm?)

Neural grooving could really work in my favor and make me a more vibrant human being.

my early morning find

During today’s early morning rounds I perused this:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/29/AR2009072903529.html

which was okay but what got me really excited was the link on the second page:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A55809-2003Jul1.html

Laurie Colwin. I am happy to discover her (and secretly hoping I love her as much as Marilynne Robinson). So it's off to the library this morning to locate:
Passion and Affect
Shine on, Bright and Dangerous Object
Happy All the Time
The Lone Pilgrim
Family Happiness
Another Marvelous Thing
Goodbye without Leaving
A Big Storm Knocked It Over

The PBS series American Playhouse adapted Colwin's short story An Old-Fashioned Story as a 90-minute film retitled Ask Me Again, which aired February 8, 1989. Maybe the library will have that too.

I’ll keep you posted as I’m never short on my opinions and I’m happy to share. ha!

Oh. And she also wrote a cookbook:
Home Cooking (1988) and More Home Cooking (1993)

http://www.thenewhomemaker.com/booksoflauriecolwin

(ld, I would like. Pretty please, buy it for me?)

exits and entrances, we walk by faith

The cloud that has hung over ld and I this past week has not lifted. On Sunday we learned a member of our Stake passed away suddenly from a brief illness. Ld had worked with him closely in the Stake Presidency for nearly 8 years. He was a phenomenal and inspiring man in so many ways. The mood around here has been sober as the reality of life’s tenuousness hits home. If death can take one so respected, loved, and so full of life and personality then the bell really does toll for thee and most assuredly, me, too.

As always such events prompt a lot of introspection and as ld put it, ‘it really brings your faith into play’. It does indeed and even though I am settled in my views and testimony, the last couple of days have found me reviewing the ‘terrible questions*’ Nibley so often wrote and spoke about.

My thoughts go round and round. I don’t think this shows a weak faith. My own mother, a woman of great spiritual strength but one who certainly had lots of reasons to work her thoughts, once asked me, “Tell me again, the other side of the veil is just as real, right?” It was heartbreaking and frightening for me to see her fear of the unknown and I think no less of her for feeling and expressing what we all face. It’s remarkable to me that in the depths of her vulnerability her faith and courage saw her through.

Today my mood has caused me to remember this little gem, and for many reasons it has found resonance. (I apologize to ld in advance, for when I read it aloud to him was convinced it came from the sappy Especially for Mormons series. It didn’t but I acknowledge it's sappiness). Still. The analogy is apt. The faith required coming into and leaving this life is a given.

Parable of the Twin Fetuses
Once upon a time, twins were conceived in the same womb. Seconds and minutes and hours passed by as the two dormant lives developed. The spark of life glowed until it fanned fire with the formation of their embryonic brains. And with their simple brains came feeling. And with feeling came perception. A perception of surroundings, of each other, and of self. When they perceived the life of the other and their own life, they knew that life was good. And the fetuses laughed and rejoiced, the one saying: “Lucky are we to have been conceived and to have this world.” And the other fetus chimed in, “Blessed be the mother who gave us life and each other.” Each budded and grew arms and fingers, lean legs and stubby toes. They stretched their lungs and churned and turned in their new found world. They explored their new world, and in it found the life cord. They found the life cord that gave them life from the precious mother. And so they sang, “How great is the love of the mother that she shares all she has with us.” And they were pleased and they were satisfied with their lot. But weeks passed into months, and with the advent of each new month, they noticed that they were changing. They noticed that they were growing older. And each began to see a change in themselves and one said: “We are changing. We are growing. What can this mean?” “It means,” replied the other, “that we are drawing near to our birth.” And then a chill suddenly crept over the two, and they were both afraid. For they knew that birth meant the leaving their secure world behind. Said the one, “Were it up to me, I would live here forever. I would stay in this womb forever because I know its safe here.” “We must be born,” said the other. “It has happened to others who were here before us.” For indeed, there was evidence of life there before, that the mother had born others. “But might not there be life after birth?” said the one. “Well, how can there be life after birth?” cried the other. “Do we not shed our life cord and also the blood tissues? And have you ever talked to anyone who has been born? Has anyone ever reentered the womb after birth? No!” He fell into despair and in despair, he moaned, “If the purpose of conception and all growth is that it is to be ended in birth, then truly, life must be absurd!” Resigned to despair, the one stabbed the darkness with his unseeing eyes and he clutched his precious life cord to his chest and said: “If this is so, if I must be born, life is absurd and there must be no mother after all.” “But there is a mother,” protested the other. “Who else gave us nourishment in our world?” “Oh, we get our own nourishment and our world has always been here. And if there is a mother, where is she? Have you ever seen her? Does she ever talk to you? No. We invented the mother because it satisfied a need in us. It made us feel secure and happy.” Thus, while one raved and despaired, the other resigned himself to birth. He placed his hands in the trust of the mother. Well, hours passed into days and days fell into weeks, and it came time for them to be born. And both knew that their birth was at hand. And both feared what they did not know. And as the one was the first to be conceived, so he was the first to be born. The other followed after. And they cried as they were born out into the light. They coughed up fluid, and they gasped the dry air; and when they were sure that they had been born, they opened up their eyes and they found themselves cradled in the warm love of the mother. They lay open mouthed, awestruck at the beauty of the mother that they had never seen before.” (AGAPE magazine)

My faith teaches me that death is "a birth into a world that we on Earth can only try to imagine."

*the terrible questions consisting of where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going. See his Temple and Cosmos book, for a great read.

today's fun thing

One of these days I’m going to own a Kindle. Until then, there’s this:

http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page

Awesome, eh?

I like reading on my laptop as it:
1) eliminates the need for my ‘under the covers’ flashlight ;
2) you can make the print jumbo B-I-G. (which is way less strain for these middle age eyes);
and...
3) chocolate wipes off much easier from a screen than it does the printed page.

The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he is really very good - in spite of all the people who say he is very good. (Robert Graves)

Other evidence that suggests my upbringing from my brothers was very different is the fact that my mother bought me the complete set of condensed Shakespeare Stories for Children, on 8 albums, no less. She also bought me The Littlest Camel Knelt, a Christmas story (on album, again) that I adored. I listened to these albums along with my brothers 45’s of Be My Baby, My Boyfriends Back and I Think We’re Alone Now ad nauseam. But the Shakespeare recordings (and I still have them) I loved beyond anything. It isn’t every little girl that has her Ken doll say to Barbie “Customs curtsy before great kings”.

Ld gave me a most perfect birthday Friday night as he (cheerfully, almost!) sat through Henry V at the Shakespeare Festival with me. It was a wonderful performance. I was delighted to discover that the actor who played King Henry (Brian Vaughn) was the same one who played Hamlet a couple of years back. Kenzie and I first saw him then and he was/is incredible.

Ld kept his comments to a fair minimum while I reveled. Still, I know it was painful for him and I really appreciated his efforts. He does not love Shakespeare at all, but he does love me.

And in answer to his query What makes Shaky-spear so hot, huh?, there’s this for starters:

Depth of wit.
Creative with language.
Musicality.
Depth of psychological insight.
Relevance of subject, you know, like, uh, all things human and divine.
Breadth of subject: tragic to comic/good to evil.
Originality.
Stands the test of time, etc…

Perhaps ld, if you had been given a little Shakespeare on LP when you were but a boy, then maybe Friday night would not have been so torturous for you. And then maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have to anticipate watching all 6 hours of Lonesome Dove with you on your birthday;).

Seriously, ld, it was a great birthday. Thanky.

Oh. Some linky love, as Shaky-spear is meant to be performed. Don’t read it people, rather see it/hear it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRj01LShXN8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXH3awDTQq4&feature=related

*"He is a gentleman; I am a gentleman’s daughter; so far we are equal" (Ch. 56)

It’s true he held no social rank, no wealth or fame. He was not landed gentry. Held no power either, except that which influences the heart. But he fit the rest of the definition: considerate or kindly in disposition; amiable and tender. Of good family; wellborn. A child of gentle birth.

A truly strong and gentle man. The kind of man and father whom having known and loved made it easy to view Heavenly Father as being the same way. Some are not as lucky, I know. I can’t imagine a punitive, harsh and cruel God because the father I knew and lived with was anything but.

I had a great Dad.

*Pride and Prejudice, natch.

Another Saturday Sharesie

Yes, I have meals to fix, lists to make, a lesson to prepare and some cardboard to paint and yet here I sit, delighted by my good fortune. I just discovered TED, people. And I just watched an awesome organ performance and a talk by Mike Rowe where he talks about the importance and value of dirty, hard work. Specifically, castrating lambs.

I am loving this site. But you have to click around, it’s a huge archive. At the top click on themes, speakers, talks, translations. Over to the left click some more.

Here’s the link:
http://www.ted.com

Dad would have loved this one:
http://www.ted.com/talks/mike_rowe_celebrates_dirty_jobs.html

my wednesday share

She's amazing. Articulate, concise, clear. You probably are already familiar, I'm late discovering it. An intelligent lds young woman who talks about matters of faith in a very credible way. I made my girls watch/listen to the whole segment followed by a discussion contrasting this wonderful young woman with the airhead-beauty queen-seriously-so-blessed gals. Living proof that a woman of substance is infinitely more influential. Go see, if you haven't already.

http://hillel.harvard.edu/media/videos/550

http://www.mormontimes.com/people_news/people_church/?id=6515

Every little girl deserves a daddy like this.

I love this picture. It is authentically Dad. Stretched out on the floor. Hot, sweaty, and tired from work.

Note the bedroom walls and closet door: Not many men would be secure enough to let their ambitiously creative wife paint their bedroom girly pink.

What this picture doesn’t show but reminds me of is the many times I have seen my dad exactly in this same pose but opening his arms for me to come and snuggle. I remember his smell, his warmth, how he would pat my head.

I was always glad when he came home. He loved me. There was never a time when I didn't know that.

Happy Birthday, Dad. Many thanks.

hope you both know how much you're loved

Due to computer technical difficulties I was not able to post a birthday shout out to lovely Megs and awesome Kody yesterday.

Happy Birthday, kiddos. You two are pretty great together yet still endearingly individualistic. Kody, we miss your foreign accents, wit and cool man calmness. Megs, we love your work ethic, your need to create and your tender little heart. So much to love and admire about you both. Thanks for being born, you two.

suavo

Yesterday afternoon Megs and I are sitting in the front room reading from our laptops.

I hear ld from the bedroom yell, Candy, get on your gmail.

I ignore as I am busy reading about the World’s Most Dangerous Countries.

A while later I mosey on over to my gmail. Big mistake. Little box in the lower right hand corner pops up. It’s ringing. I click on the icon Answer. I am now on live video chat. I see myself. Ugh. I try to scrunch down in my seat so only the top of my head is showing. My husband, the one down the hall and in the bedroom, proceeds to blow kisses and wink at me on screen. I tell him, STOP IT. You are creeping me out.

Megs adds her opinion as well, Seriously, Dad, that’s just pervy.

ld is highly amused.

Reunion Update

Hey, fam. I've posted the official Reunion flyer/invitation over at the Family Treehouse. I will be sending them out by mail as well. All Reunion updates will be posted there from now on.

HMA & Ethel Rose Reunion

When: July 2-4, 2009
Where: Orem, Utah
Would love to see as many as possible come, if you can make it work. Complete itinerary soon to be posted. I am hard at work on the scheduling. Behold this early morning (very early, as in I-woke-HB-up early) convo as evidence.

Hb: Hullo?

Me: What time is the golf tournament thingy?

Hb: (Groggily) What?

Me: (Impatiently) What time is the golf thingy?

Hb: (equally impatient) What golf thingy?

Me: You know, the golfing. What time will it be?

Hb: (alittle confused) What are you talking about? (Suddenly he gets it) Oh, you mean for the family reunion?

Me: Yeah. What time? 6 am, 7 am?

Hb: Are you kidding? Nobody is even up then. And it depends on how many let me know. I need to know how many are going to participate.

Me: Okay. (still pressing) Well, what time.

Hb: Well , it won’t be 6 am. Nobody is even up then.

Me: Well, 7 then?

Hb: Uh, possibly 8 am. I won’t know for sure until people sign up.

Me: Oh. Well, I need to know ‘cuz I’m typing up the itinerary right now. (Me sighing impatiently) I’ll just leave it blank for now then. Bye.

Hb: Hey! (dramatic pause) What time is it now?

Me: (I look at clock. I am now feeling sheepish.) I dunno.

Hb: Well…., the golfing won’t be this early.

Me: Okay. Bye.

So all menfolk who are planning on participating in 9 holes of male Arnett bonding need to email or phone him and let him know, so he can secure the tee time. And so I can type it up on the schedule:)

You're all coming, right?

may babes

Happy Birthday to all the lovely May gals. You are in a special club all by yourself:)

4th Wendy May
7th Chandell Fay
9th Penee Louise
13th Devry Gale
16th Grandma Ethel

I decided to do Birthday shout outs over on The Family Treehouse http://cs-thefamilytreehouse.blogspot.com/
This is a complete list of the HMA/Ethel Rose family birthdays. Look it over and let me know any corrections or updates.

as lovely as they come

The caption under the picture reads: Freshman in High School
And this from her Life History:
I, Ethel Rose Clifford Arnett, was born in the springtime of the year. I've often wondered if the Lord let us choose our season of the year to come to this planet, which was to be our home during this phase of mortal existence. I've always liked the spring season. Anyway, it was a Spring Morning about 7:00 a.m.,May 16, 1924 that I first made my appearance here on earth in a small tent by the San Pedro River in St.David, Arizona.

Happy Birthday, Mother.

I kid you not

The thing about joining Curves (Kody teases me and calls it Shapes) is that it’s not like any other Gym. And that’s good, if you’re my age. No spandex, lycra, no bare midriffs and buff bodies. No cute little gym bummies. Curves, well, it’s a different feel.

I walked in the first time and saw lumpy and frumpy gals (just like me) working out in baggy old t-shirts and double knit pants to the sound track of Mama Mia. The place was filled with smiling, cheerful women, mostly middle aged but quite a few in their 80’s, too.

I felt right at home.

So Monday morning my friend D and I are working hard when a cute little white haired lady starts her routine. D and I exchange looks. We suppress our laughter. Barely. Cute little old lady is doing her workout in a dress. With hose on, no less. Oh. My. I know, I know. Peels of laughter.

Give her credit though, she did have on sensible flat heeled shoes. And turns out it all makes perfect sense. I overheard said cute little old lady say when headed out the door that she was ‘off to do her visiting teaching.’

Hee hee hee hee. This just slays me. I came home and told Megs. We laughed it up good. Then Megs suddenly turns all serious.

“That’s totally something you would do, Mom”.

Yup. I would. Maybe. Remember that time I cut up an old sheet and made myself a robe/toga? I wore it all that summer until you secretly took it and threw it away. See, you are nice like that. I am banking on the fact that you and your sister will STOP ME should I ever get a notion to be in such serious Gym dress code violation. Tee hee hee. Chortle, chortle.

Sign.Up. Now.

Don't miss this opportunity to participate in Megs' Free Craft Giveaway. Come on and show some fam loyalty with some Linky Love. See http://megscraft.blogspot.com/ for more deets.

It's worth the effort people. She makes cool stuff.

lucky Mudder

Requirements for a wonderful Mothers Day: Having the hymn "Each Life that Touches Ours for Good" sung in Sacrament meeting; Chocolate in RS; having my girls plan, shop, cook and serve a fabulous dinner. Pink slushy lemonade, strawberries, Cafe Rio salad.

The table beautifully set, Meghan style, with poofy pink tissue balls and fresh roses. It was a floral, pastel, sentimental and sweet Mother's day, thanks to my gals. Love you so much.

And the cupcakes. Did I mention the cupcakes? Very yum.

Humble Pie has some more of the day's details. Take a peek:)

Mitochondrial DNA

Here's to Good Women...
May we know them
May we be them
May we raise them

Top left to right: Ann Wickes Taylor; Margaret Ann Taylor Goodman; Clara Grove Goodman Busby; Rose Mary Busby Clifford.
Bottom left to right: Ethel Rose Clifford Arnett; Candace Sue Arnett Walker; Meghan Candace Walker Staples & Mackenzie Sue Walker Arnold.

I put myself in their company only to illustrate our undeniably shared DNA. Remarkable women. To learn more about these ladies, visit my new genealogy blog The Family Treehouse. http://cs-thefamilytreehouse.blogspot.com/

Happy Mother's Day to all the good and heroic women in our fam.

my saturday share

I read this Deseret News article http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705298649/Universities-will-be-irrelevant.html a week or so ago and according to it, University classrooms will be obsolete by 2020. BYU professor David Wiley envisions a world where students listen to lectures on iPods, and those lectures are also available online to everyone anywhere for free. Course materials are shared between universities, science labs are virtual, and digital textbooks are free. He says, 'Higher education doesn't reflect the life that students are living ... today's colleges are typically tethered, isolated, generic, and closed.' In the world according to Wiley, universities would still make money, because they have a marketable commodity: to get college credits and a diploma, you'd have to be a paying customer.

An interesting article. Speaking of which, I have been enjoying this exceedingly (as my Dad would say) Yup, open and free college courses (though no college credit of course), from Yale, Notre Dame, and MIT no less. Yet another reason why I love the internet.
http://oyc.yale.edu/english/american-novel-since-1945/content/sessions.html

I particularly enjoyed Yale's Professor Hungerford’s lecture on the novel Everything is Illuminated (lectures #24 and #25) in light of Lacy’s recent recommendation. I had been getting her lectures off of Youtube so imagine my delight when I discovered the actual site that made them all readily available. Have a look around, scroll through the course lists, there is something for everyone.

http://oyc.yale.edu/
Open Yale Courses

http://ocw.nd.edu/
Notre Dame Open Course Ware

http://oedb.org/library/beginning-online-learning/200-free-online-classes-to-learn-anything
Online Education Database. Lists 200 free online classes to learn practically anything.

http://ocw.usu.edu/
Utah State Open Course Ware

http://ocw.mit.edu/OcwWeb/web/courses/courses/index.htm
MIT Open Course Ware

http://www.word2word.com/coursead.html
Free Online Language courses. I’ve been wanting to learn me some Cherokee.

http://ocw.umb.edu/
University of Mass Boston Open Course Ware

http://ce.byu.edu/is/site/courses/freecourses.cfm
BYU offers several free online courses

There are many others as well. Here’s a site that ranks Universities by their open course ware
http://degreedirectory.org/articles/25_Colleges_and_Universities_Ranked_by_Their_OpenCourseWare.html

Looks like the wave of the future.

Aunt Anna

Tonight I stumbled upon a collective/group blog that features Aunt Laurene as a contributing member. Only she goes by Anna, not Laurene. Go have a look: http://anwafounder.blogspot.com/

Scroll around in the archives to read of her stroke in the post Ramblings of Joy and Frustration, relive her trip to Florida in Where Anna Has Been, and check out her original poetry on why she's a woman/rose bush and not a tree. Oh, and the post Ben Franklin, and a B-24 recounts her recent airplane ride.

I found it all excessively diverting:) and lovely. She writes as she speaks.

Top Ten

Quick name your top ten fav books. What, can’t limit yourself to just 10? I so understand.

But what about a list of 10 books that reveal something about you. That’s right, ten books above all others that have shaped or even defined you. Ah, now we’re getting a little too up close and personal, eh? But since we’re fam I’ll divulge that Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women is on my list along with a collection of Essays by Eugene England (most notably Why the Church is as True as the Gospel) and the children’s classic The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes by Du Bose Heyward (can you say Girl Power?) There are others, but really that’s exposing myself too much☺

Each book came at a crucial time for me and I can remember where I was on the first reading and what I was feeling. After reading, I moved forward. I suddenly became unstuck, in the sense that some new concept, character, example or idea altered my thinking in a way that uniquely applied to me.

Last week I finished The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery and know I’m laying myself wide open when I divulge that I love, love this book. It has now squeezed and edged out number 10 on my list of revelatory books. And before you balk, yes, I am aware of it’s criticisms: it’s not really an adult novel, it’s pretentious, too philosophic, slow going, it’s kind of a fable (you know, like The Little Prince), blah blah. I know, I know.

But… there are at least 10-12 wonderful passages in the book that resonate. Just a couple:
From page 53. Renee Michel, on reading without guidance:
"I have read so many books...And yet, like most autodidacts, I am never quite sure of what I have gained from them. There are days when I feel I have been able to grasp all there is to know in one single gaze, as if invisible branches suddenly spring out of nowhere, weaving together all the disparate strands of my reading--and then suddenly the meaning escapes, the essence evaporates, and no matter how often I reread the same lines, they seem to flee ever further with each subsequent reading, and I see myself as some mad old fool who thinks her stomach is full because she's been attentively reading the menu. Apparently this combination of ability and blindness is a symptom exclusive to the autodidact. Deprived of the steady guiding hand that any good education provides, the autodidact possesses nonetheless the gift of freedom and conciseness of thought, where official discourse would put up barriers and prohibit adventure."

From page 145. Paloma, after meeting Kakuro Ozu for the first time:
"So here is my profound thought for the day: this is the first time I have met someone who seeks out people and who sees beyond. That may seem trivial but I think it is profound all the same. We never look beyond our assumptions and, what's worse, we have given up trying to meet others; we just meet ourselves. We don't recognize each other because other people have become our permanent mirrors. If we actually realized this, if we were to become aware of the fact that we are only ever looking at ourselves in the other person, that we are alone in the wilderness, we would go crazy."

Hmm.

So, what about you? What fav 10 books reveal you? No, again, not your favorite books to recommend but the 10 books that say something about you. Sharesies, please.