Grandma Rose Would So Understand

 
One day last week:
Mackenzie and I were driving home from her voice lesson and turned the corner onto our street. That’s when I saw it, so I slowed down. I wanted it badly.

Me: Ohhh, look at that cardboard. It’s a fridge box no less. Those are the best kind.

Kenzie: Uh, Mom…

Me: Seriously, what a beautiful piece of cardboard. Brand new. I wonder what he’s going to do with it?

(I put the car in neutral. I’m going to get out)

Kenzie: Mom, no. Nooooo. No. Mom.

So I drive on by. I don’t even stop and dumpster dive. But I wanted to. Oh, how I wanted to. And if Kenzie hadn’t been in the car with me I know I would have succumbed. But I have to start acting with restraint and curb my impulsiveness as I’m too young to be really eccentric. Right now I’m just quirky. Weird doesn’t start until 50, eccentric at 65.

Besides, cardboard would be a distraction and I don’t need that as the Society of Relief consumes most all of my time. Plus, with Christmas here and all the seasonal duties that entails a person just has to be rational and prioritize their time. I read it in the RS Handbook. Right under ‘Don’t waste time making stuff out of cardboard. Not even cool stuff like, trains or forts or life size people. Be an Example. Act with decorum always. No stealing and stay away from dumpsters.’

So I’m patting myself on the back, congratulating myself on sacrificing my creative impulses for the sake of being mature and all relief society sister like, when my kids nonchalantly say:

Jantzen: How come you don’t make those cardboard cubbies anymore? The ones with little doors and handles? They were really special. I miss those.

Kenzie: Yeah, mom. You know, what I would really like for Christmas? Something made from cardboard.

Now, I know my kids were snickering and poking fun, they are bums. But as I am fond of quoting to them, What we say, we say with intent. Joking around always has some truth in it. Therefore, it won’t be such a surprise to you, will it, come Christmas morning when you open up your cardboard shirt, or your cardboard lava lamp, hmmmm, kiddies?

You just gave me license, in the interest of being a good mom, of course, to swipe that man on the corner’s cardboard. I will cut and saw and glue and paint just like old times. And duct tape. I’ll use lots and lots of duct tape. You can use duct tape in Relief Society. It says so in the handbook.

I come by this calling naturally. Grandma Rose was a RS President in Tucson, Arizona for many, many years. My favorite memory/story of her is when she would dumpster dive at cemetaries looking for thrown away plastic artificial flowers. Frugal she was. She used these flowers to supply the sisters for their homemaking crafts/pursuits. Back then the handbook read: 'Beautify your home with flowers from the dead.'