Tuesday, August 23, 2011

how i organize my world

I’ve been exposed.

Which is why I feel so vulnerable today. Quick, where are the cookies?

How come so threatened, you say?

Well, it’s because I raised such snoop-dog kids. Yesterday I was minding my own business attending to important internet stuff. I didn’t notice Mr. JLW picking up the piece of paper I had set aside.

He starts chuckling. Then ruffling.*

JLW: Oh. My. Gosh. Mom, is this what I think it is?

I look up from my computer screen.

Me: Huh?

JLW: (More laughter). Your kidding right? He continues to read, then asks incredulously, You made a list of all your lists?

Me: (sheepishly) Maybe.

Me: Give it here. I grab it out of his hands. You shouldn’t go around picking up random pieces of paper. I say with a nasty tone: I don’t go around reading your private notes to self or lists or… whatever.

I glare at him angrily and shoot him a crusty.

JLW: That’s because I don’t write notes to myself. But it’s okay, mom, I’m not dissing you making a list of your lists. It’s something probably everyone should do. I think I’ll go write one right now. Snarky snark.

He starts down the stairs, still ruffling, er laughing.

JLW: And it was a long list, that list of your lists! He continues chortling all the way down the stairs.

I consider biting him.

True to pop psychology research (that says when a person is shamed they will lash out wildly in defense, by blaming or deflecting or getting angry and loud**), I show him not to make me feel foolish. Ha!

Me: (Sputtering) You’re shunned. And I bring down my right arm all Dwight-like emphatic.

Ugh. Exposure of the onion layers reveals such secret weirdness, eh?

Addendum: I consider adding him to my list of people shunned.

*family joke. ROFL = Ruffle. If something is pee your pants funny, then its Pleats.

**That's what they say about Brutus anyway. And why Olive Oyl was able to tolerate his presence, he was shamed as a child. But Popeye believed none of this.


lacy lee said...

I, for one, would love to lay eyes on the list of lists. No joke. In fact, I'm hoping to be your biographer in three decades or so, so you may as well forward me the list now.

lacy lee said...

You know, to save yourself from inaccuracies.